you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
