my text book just quoted the cookie monster
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
