yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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