Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
