i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
