A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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