I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
