Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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