I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
