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were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
