"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
