butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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