Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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