I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
