then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got inside last night via doggy door
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
