How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
ttyl tear gas
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
