I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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