I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is Oprah even human
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
