God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
