Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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