Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
