He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
