Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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