im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
