i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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