I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I could fuck to npr.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
