Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
