He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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