Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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