At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
