I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Damn victory sex feels great
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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