just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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