Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
