I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Randomize
