Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
