Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just come out here and I will go home with you...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
