I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude. I can hear the air.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
