I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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