2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
