I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
