Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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