K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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