I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
