if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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