Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize