what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
