so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
