i don't like sucking hair
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
