Your tits are I can't wait for
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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