can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
