My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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