Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
