He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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