Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
