it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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